But I Turn Him On and He Comes to Life
by likeasouffle
Summary: Written for the following prompt: Inspired by Darren Criss' remark about Blaine being a mad scientist who built a school of robots. When Blaine meets Kurt, he realizes that he is missing something. He doesn't want a robot, he wants the real thing.


Looking back, once Kurt learned the truth, there were certain things he should have noticed. Signs that should have given it away. Well, maybe not _it_, precisely. But _something_. He should have guessed that Dalton wasn't _normal_.

The first time he'd entered the building, he'd thought it seemed like a dream. Too good to be true. Such a beautiful building. Such polite, handsome boys. High ceilings, tall mirrors, elegant wooden furnishings. Goddamn tea serving stations in the study rooms. But he'd thought, maybe that's just what it's like in rich schools.

Then he'd learned more. That the Warblers were like rock stars. That the students ran their own clubs, without guidance. That classes got put on hold sometimes to allow for singing. _Flawless_ singing, in eight-part harmony, with no pitch problems or forgotten lyrics. He got caught spying and they took him out for _coffee_. And there was no bullying.

This was exactly the school that a tired, lonely, frightened gay boy like himself would have created from thin air, if he could have dreamed up his own reality and seen it come to life. And it did seem too good to be true. It had just never occurred to him that it's also the school a boy like _Blaine_ would have created from thin air too. And the other thing that never would have occurred to him is that Blaine might actually have had the means to make it happen.

* * *

><p>There were certain conversations that came back to him, later. Things he should have questioned harder. The day after he met Blaine, and he called him, frightened, explaining what had happened with Karofsky in the locker room, Blaine had simply left school to drive to McKinley, to back him up, to offer support.<p>

"But you have class."

"It's fine, I want to do it."

"Your teachers will notice you're gone."

"They like me. I'm a good student."

"Won't you get in trouble?"

"I told you Kurt, this is more important."

And he had just let it go, and it never came up again. Like it really was ok for Blaine to do whatever he wanted. Kurt really should have gotten suspicious sooner.

* * *

><p>On one of Kurt's first days at Dalton, he went to Blaine's dorm room to ask him for his history notes, so he could catch up, but overheard him talking to someone else. He didn't knock on the door right away. He felt a little bad for eavesdropping, but he wanted to feel out whether it was a conversation he could just casually interrupt without embarrassment.<p>

He heard Blaine say "And Thad is great, with the flattery, but I don't really believe it all the time. Sometimes it's... over-the-top. So I won't make _that_ mistake again. And Wes is cute, in his own way, but... I don't know. I'm starting to think I have a 'type'."

Kurt pressed his ear to the door and held his breath. Would Blaine give details on what, exactly, his type was?

"I spent a long time on you. Your face, your hair, your adorable dance moves. If I have this right, you should be talented, but humble. Pleasant, but subdued." Kurt heard a click, a spark, the soft whirr of some machine starting up. "Oh Jeff. You're going to be the best Warbler yet."

Kurt felt his heart drop as all the air left his chest, and he brought his hand up to his mouth. He ran down the hallway, face hot and tight, with no rational excuse for feeling this jealous, but goddammit. Why couldn't Blaine have called _Kurt_ the best Warbler yet?

And just like that, the rest of that slightly odd conversation was simply forgotten. At least for now.

* * *

><p>Sometimes, when Kurt had a lot of work to do, he would stay late into the evening in one of the common study rooms, or in a smaller private music room. There were six such music rooms, sound-proofed, each one just big enough for a piano, a chair, a couch, and a small amplifier, with different input jacks for a guitar or an iPod. But the rooms were private only insofar as the noise level. There were no locks on the doors, and each door had a small window.<p>

One day, quite early in Kurt's Dalton career, he finished his singing practice, gathered his sheet music into his messenger bag, and left, closing the door behind him. As he started walking down the hall, he noticed movement inside one of the other rooms, and glanced over. Then he stopped in his tracks, to take a better look.

David and Wes. Two of the members of the Warblers council. They were, they were... Wes was on his knees. David was leaning back against the piano, with his head thrown back and his eyes closed. His - well. His _cock_ was in Wes' mouth. He was bucking his hips. His fingers were in Wes' hair, gripping, pulling. Kurt couldn't look away.

David and Wes. The two he had met first, after Blaine. He remembered asking if they were all gay, and getting laughter in response. "These two both have girlfriends." But now...

Wes was licking and sucking David's long, dark cock with enthusiasm and, Kurt believed, some amount of skill. Kurt had a sideview of them, and he could see both their faces in profile. They both had their eyes closed and looked utterly blissful. One of Wes' hands was sliding up David's chest, sliding his shirt up, feeling the tense muscles of his abdomen and chest.

Wes was taking David's cock deeper and deeper into his mouth, impossibly deep, until it had to have been going down his throat. And he didn't stop. He didn't pull off or cough or open his eyes. He didn't even hesitate. He just took the whole thing in, wet and hard and thick, and David kept bucking in and out, fucking Wes' face. Fucking his throat. And Kurt felt his erection straining against the fabric of his pants.

Suddenly Kurt realized where he was and what he was doing and felt very exposed. He looked around to make sure he hadn't already been caught. He adjusted his pants. He swung his messenger bag around to his front to cover his hard on. Then he ran down the hall, out of the building to his car.

* * *

><p>Blaine was flirty. Like, seriously, unquestionably flirty. Kurt was sure of it. The way he held Kurt's gaze and smiled. The way he moved his hips when he danced. The way he leaned in close when they talked. The way he kept touching Kurt's back, shoulder, arm, even his waist. He was so <em>intimate<em>. So forward, and unashamed. And it was making Kurt crazy.

Because Blaine wasn't just flirty, and friendly. He was also _gorgeous_. And an incredible singer. And actually a very good friend as well. How could Kurt _not_ fall in love with him? And on top of everything, he was extremely intelligent too.

It wasn't just that he had all his teachers wrapped around his finger (although Kurt suspected that he did). He spoke about chemistry and physics like they were his mother tongue. He got giddy about robotics like it was a new Christmas Lego set. He found calculus and conics laughably easy. And hearing him talk about these things, hearing him get _excited_ about them, well... it was a turn on.

Sometimes his rambling didn't sound purely theoretical. Sometimes it sounded like he had actually tested these things out. How to make a foot-like structure with enough functional motors and joints to move realistically, with each part small enough to fit inside the skin. How to make an insulating layer that feels like skin to the touch, but is strong enough to withstand the friction of metal bones moving inside it without tearing. How to program an AI with enough knowledge and language skill to improvise its way through a normal conversation with a human. Sometimes it was hard to tell which of these things Blaine had actually done, and which he'd only read about.

Once, mid-conversation, Blaine stopped, and marveled, smiling, at something Kurt had said. "I wasn't expecting you to say that."

"Why would you?"

"I just, I couldn't have predicted it. That's... really cool. I just, I wonder how you could program a computer to be... surprising, like that."

And Kurt just laughed. "Why would you need to, when you have me?"

"Yeah..." And Blaine blushed and got this pensive, faraway look in his eyes for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p>After the Gap Attack debacle, Blaine was understandably humiliated. He went with Kurt for coffee, like usual, but he couldn't stop blushing, ashamed, and he couldn't maintain a conversation without angrily insulting himself, or Jeremiah, or Valentine's Day, or the Warblers for letting him go through with it in the first place, the stupid mindless automatons, going along with everything he says like it's a good idea. <em>Fuck<em>.

So he begged off early, saying he just wanted to go to his dorm room to be alone, and Kurt let him go. He sat there awhile, finishing his coffee. But then Kurt remembered that he'd left his bag in Blaine's room, and went to get it back. He knocked on the door, but got no answer. He knocked again, and even called Blaine's name, but still, nothing. He stood there a moment, unsure what to do, then went to try one of the common rooms. And that's when he saw it.

Blaine was in there, having - Having sex. With _two_ other guys. Jeff was sitting on the couch, with his shirt off and his pants open, thrusting his hips up... Blaine was in front of him, bent at the waist, bent way down, all his weight on his elbows on the couch, sucking Jeff's cock and moaning around it. _Drooling_ around it. Blaine's pants were down around his ankles. And Thad was behind him, pressed against him. Fucking him. Thad's hands were gripping Blaine's hips, hard enough to bruise, and he was fucking Blaine's ass hard and fast, grunting. And Blaine took it. He jerked forward with every thrust.

Thad was saying something. Kurt strained to hear, from his position in the doorway across the room. "Yeah. Take it. Fuck, so good. So tight."

Kurt was torn between jealousy and unbearable lust. This was by far the most erotic experience of his entire life, but he wanted so badly to be involved, to be touching Blaine...

"Take it Blaine," Thad was saying. "You love my cock. You love my big, hard cock inside you."

Blaine's own cock was hard, straining forward, swinging upward every time his body was jerked forward by Thad's thrusts. He wasn't touching it. He was just moaning, squeezing his eyes shut, bent at that impossible angle, his face pressed down against Jeff. "Mm! Mm! Mm!" Pinned between those two bodies, pulled and pushed and stretched at both ends, wailing and rocking and just taking it.

"Fuck. Blaine. You little slut. You dirty cockslut. Fuck, yes, yes, take it..."

Kurt leaned against the door frame and pressed his hand to his erection through his pants as he watched. He rubbed hard, fast. He watched Blaine being fucked from both sides. He listened to the moans and Thad's filthy words and the slapping of skin on skin, of Thad's body against Blaine's. Watched Jeff buck up into Blaine's mouth, forcing his cock inside. Kurt lost control, arched his back, and came in his pants, shuddering, gasping, as quietly as he could. He rolled his eyes back as he rode out his orgasm, breathing deep and trembling. But oh god, there were three other people in the room.

He froze in place, with his hand still squeezing his dick. But they were still going, still fucking, eyes closed. "I'm going to come inside you, I'm gonna fill you with my come. Oh god yes, so close. You're gonna come just from my cock..." Kurt desperately needed to get away. How could they not have noticed yet? They'd see him, and he'd be humiliated. Blaine would hate him. And he had a big gross wet spot visible on the front of his pants. He had to get to a bathroom and clean up.

Jeff pulled Blaine's hair and softly begged: "Blaine please, please put your fingers in me." And Kurt ran.

* * *

><p>Kurt resented Blaine after that. And ok, he got kind of bitchy. But he didn't tell him why. He let him believe it's because he got all the solos, or because his ignorance of Kurt's feelings had been kind of insensitive. It was just easier than saying "I saw you having a threesome and it was insanely, devastatingly hot, but I'm so jealous I might die. Why don't you want me?"<p>

But then Pavarotti died. And it was heartbreaking. This bird, this tiny little creature, so fragile, so short-lived. And Kurt felt like he had made a genuine connection with it. Like they understood each other when they sang. So Kurt felt it was only appropriate that he should honour Pavarotti in song.

He changed into a stylish but mournful black outfit. Then he went online and found an acoustic backing track for Blackbird, and brought it to the choir room. And even though he was grieving, and singing his heart out, he still noticed that the Warblers were _incredible_. They were perfectly in sync with each other, picking out harmonies in a style that augmented the arrangement without dominating it. Like they each knew exactly what the rest would do. And they had never even _heard_ this version before, at least to Kurt's knowledge.

If nothing else did, _this_ was the moment that should have shown Kurt that the Warblers were not what they appeared to be. Not the way some of them always praised Blaine and some always challenged him (but relented quickly when presented with a valid argument). Not even the way they never sniffled or sneezed or cried or had problems with body odor. But this. Their uncanny ability to act in unison without deliberating with each other beforehand. The way they all seemed to have the exact same musical background and training. The way they all considered what would sound best and immediately came to the same conclusion. Like they had been programmed that way.

But Kurt was not the type to jump to insane conclusions. He was impressed, of course. Surprised. But mostly he was pleased to be part of such a tremendously talented group. Honored, even.

When Blaine came to him and confessed how moved he had been by Kurt's singing, by the _emotion_ behind it, and leaned in to kiss him, Kurt was thrilled, excited, elated, and kissed him back without reservation. Finally, _finally_, the feel of Blaine's lips... It was wonderful. Perfect. They stayed in that room and kept kissing for a good half hour before they even considered talking to each other about it.

In the meantime they had moved to the couch and Blaine was straddling Kurt's lap. Both of them were hard, and Kurt could feel Blaine's erection pressing against his own through their clothes. Eventually, as happy and turned on as he was, he got a little scared, remembering how incredibly experienced Blaine was. Would he be pushy? Would he even be able to wait, if Kurt asked him to?

So Kurt pulled back, and gently pushed Blaine away, his hands on Blaine's chest. "Um." He laughed.

Blaine stopped kissing him, but didn't completely still the movement of his pelvis, rocking against Kurt. "What's up?"

"Do you... I mean, I really like this. A lot. I'm so happy."

"I am too." Blaine leaned in again, but stopped when Kurt dodged his kisses.

"But I just. I know you've done a lot more than me. You know a lot more than me. And I think I'm really interested in all those things... that you've done. But what if - What if I'm not quite ready to dive into things just yet? What if we try something and I decide I want to take it slower?"

"That's fine, that's completely fine. There's no rush. We can take all the time in the world."

"Really?"

"Of course. There's no pressure." Blaine smiled, then closed his eyes and shivered, on a particularly hard downward thrust. "But I really want to keep kissing you. Is that ok?"

Kurt grinned wide and bit his lip, looking Blaine over. "That's definitely ok."

* * *

><p>It all came crashing down late one evening when Kurt was walking past one of the common rooms on his way out of the building. It was noisy. There were a lot of people inside, and it sounded... intense.<p>

He went to the doorway and peeked inside. And the room was filled with what appeared to be _all_ the Warblers, minus Kurt, all... fucking. All in various states of undress. Against the wall, on the floor, bent over couches. All of them. Including Blaine.

Blaine was naked, on top of Wes on one of the couches. Wes was face down, frantically humping against the couch as Blaine fucked him, tilting his hips up to meet Blaine's thrusts, and crying out without restraint. "Fuck me! Oh god fuck me harder!"

And all around them, they were surrounded by sex. The sound of all that panting, moaning, slapping of skin. Boys jerking each other off, sucking each other's cocks, fucking, grinding, licking, rimming. All of them.

And Blaine was in there, fucking Wes. Gripping his shoulders. Licking his neck. Kurt wanted to cry. He shouted: "Blaine!" The second Blaine turned his head and their eyes met, Kurt turned and started to walk briskly away, shoulders hunched.

"Kurt! Stop!"

He had barely made it a few paces down the hall when Blaine caught up with him.

"Let me explain!" Blaine turned Kurt to face him, and held him by his upper arms. He was still completely naked, and his erection was standing straight out in front of him. It was shiny with lube. There was something wet, someone's come presumably, dripping from Blaine's neck down his chest. The look on his face was anxious, earnest. "Please listen."

Kurt raised an eyebrow and _glared_ in disbelief. "What could you _possibly_ say? You said you could wait. You said it's ok if it takes time. We _just_ became a couple and you're already cheating on me. With _everyone_."

"No, no, you don't understand. It isn't cheating. They're not real."

Kurt tilted his head, still glaring, and looked Blaine over. "_What?_"

"The guys." Blaine was breathless. "The Warblers. None of them are real."

* * *

><p>As Blaine explained it all to Kurt - how he had built all those robot boys, making them fully functional in every way, improving them slightly each time, experimenting with different looks and temperaments - suddenly all those strange occurrences and conversations came flooding back. Things he should have noticed. Reasons he should have been suspicious.<p>

"So many things make so much more sense now."

Blaine ducked his head and sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"I... understand why you didn't." They had sat down, right there in the hallway, leaning against the wall, and Blaine was still just as naked as before. Kurt couldn't stop looking at Blaine's cock, which was still half hard, and twitched occasionally. "I'm still confused about some things though."

"Like what?"

"Like..." Kurt brought a hand to Blaine's chest and touched the thick white liquid that was drying there. "What's this? I was assuming one of them came on you, but if they're just robots..."

"Taste it."

"_What?_"

Blaine raised his eyebrows and waited.

Kurt brought his finger to his lips and gasped. "Strawberries..."

Blaine blushed. "They come strawberry lube. For... practical reasons." He shrugged.

"I can't believe you." Kurt laughed, and finished licking off his finger.

"So... Do you want to try one?"

"Do I want to try... one of the Warblers?"

"Why not?"

Kurt frowned. "Well they're... I mean they're kind of like people. They make their own decisions. Don't they? They have sex when you're not around. What if they don't like me?"

"They'll like you if I tell them to."

"What does that mean?"

"Come on." Blaine stood and held his hand out to Kurt to help him up, then led him back into the room. "Which one do you want?"

"I don't know..." Kurt scanned the room, where sex was, incredibly, still happening. None of them seemed to be getting tired. He felt weird, sizing them up like this. They were his friends. Sort of. His... fake robot friends.

His eye was drawn to Jeff, who was sitting, stroking Nick's cock. Jeff was sort of half-smiling, looking eager-to-please. Non-threatening.

So Blaine led him over by the hand and asked Jeff to make Kurt happy. Jeff smiled up at Kurt and asked him what he wanted. And when Kurt bent Jeff over the couch and slid inside his body, it was the most incredible, hot, wet, tight, fucking amazing feeling in the world. And all through it, Blaine stroked Kurt's back and whispered in his ear.

"Do you like that? How does it feel?"

"Oh it's good, it's good -"

"You like his ass? You want to come inside him?"

"Yes yes yes yes -"

As Kurt came, Blaine kissed him hard, and kept kissing him, touching his face, stroking his hair, all through his orgasm. "Kurt you're so hot. I want you so much."

Kurt leaned forward against Jeff's body and put one arm around Blaine, holding him close. He leaned his face into Blaine's neck, and rested there, breathing him in.

After he had regained his breath a little, he pulled away from Jeff and sat down on the couch. He pulled Blaine to sit down with him.

He said "Why do you want me? You have all these other guys. And they'll do whatever you what."

"And you do whatever _you_ want. If you do something with me, it's because you really like me. For real."

"But their singing is so _perfect_."

"It has no emotion. It doesn't make me _feel_ anything."

"They like everything you like."

"And you like warm milk, and fashion designers I've never heard of, and you know how to fix an engine."

Kurt laughed. "You want me because I know how to fix an engine?"

"I want you because you're your own person. You're made up of experiences I could never have imagined. You're gorgeous, and unpredictable, and bitchy, and you have incredible fashion sense, and you really fight me for solos, and you planned your dad's wedding, and you cried over a dead bird. You're amazing."

"I just. I can't imagine how much work went into making them. Just for, what, a sex toy?"

"Well I enjoyed the process of making them, or it wouldn't have been worth it. But I didn't just make a toy. I made a boyfriend."

Kurt made a face. A _you've-got-to-be-joking_ face.

"Seriously. Every time, I tried to make them better and better, thinking 'This is it. This is the last one. And this one is going to be perfect.' But every time, there was something missing. I kept getting bored. They were everything I wanted, and I didn't want them. It turned out, none of them could compare to the real thing." Blaine took Kurt's hand. "None of them could compare to you."

* * *

><p>They made love for the first time, in that very room, surrounded by that same group of artificial boys. Kurt enjoyed the caresses and kisses as Blaine stripped him. He laid back against Wes' chest on the couch. He breathed deep and stroked his cock as Blaine kissed him and David used his fingers to gently open and stretch Kurt's hole.<p>

When he was ready, David withdrew his fingers and stepped aside. Then, as Kurt spread his legs further to allow Blaine to kneel between them, he felt Wes stroking his body and kissing his hair. He felt the press of Blaine's cock against his entrance, and tilted his head up to kiss him again as Blaine pushed inside with a moan. Kurt arched his body and threw his head back against Wes' shoulder, gripping Blaine's hair and gasping. Jeff knelt beside them to stroke Kurt's throbbing, leaking cock.

The slide of Blaine's cock inside of Kurt, in and out, was so intense, making him moan and buck with every thrust. It was made all the more incredible by the feeling of so much skin against him, so many hands caressing him. David's gentle touch up and down his legs. Wes' heartbeat against his back. Jeff's fingers squeezing his cock and stroking, harder, faster, bringing him closer and closer to the edge.

Blaine kept fucking him, grunting, bending to kiss his chest, and Kurt was so close, so close, he started to beg. "Please, please, harder, please make me come, please, I need it..." Blaine drew himself up straighter, and David helped him fold Kurt's knees tighter toward his chest. Wes started biting and sucking Kurt's neck, in the sensitive place by his collar bone. Jeff stroked Kurt's cock faster, squeezing the head on each upstroke and never letting up.

Just when Kurt was overwhelmed with too much sensation, when it was too fucking incredible to bear, Blaine slammed into him harder, faster, setting all his nerves on fire and tearing a guttural wail from his throat. Kurt orgasmed hard, squeezing around Blaine's cock, and coming all over his own chest, and Jeff's hand.

Blaine thrust into Kurt and held there, coming, panting, moaning. He trembled and laid his head down on Kurt's chest, twitching inside Kurt's body. Kurt felt the wetness of the come on his chest as Blaine rested the side of his face there.

Jeff slid his hand out from between Kurt and Blaine, and started to jerk himself off, sitting on the floor. "That was so hot," he said.

Wes started tilting his hips, grinding his cock against Kurt's back. Kurt just laid there against him and let it happen, and wrapped his arms around Blaine. He felt so relaxed, and loved, and Blaine's softening cock inside him felt so strange and good. He listened to the sounds of sex still happening around him and kissed the top of Blaine's head.

All at once a thought occurred to him and he couldn't contain himself. "Blaine!"

"Mm?"

"'The _council_ decides who gets the solos?' Are you _kidding_ me?"

"Wuh?"

"You _made_ the council! I can't _believe_ this."

"Uh... You noticed that huh?"

"From now on there are going to be some major changes around here. From now on, solos are going to _me_."

"And me too, right?"

"Yes, of _course_ you too."

Blaine kissed Kurt's chest and smiled. "You and me. We're going to run this place."

Kurt relaxed back against Wes' body and stroked Blaine's back. "Mm, that sounds really good."

"Just you wait and see." Blaine took Kurt's hand and squeezed it. "It's going to be amazing. You and me."


End file.
